haha LOVE it!!!
what do you call a drug ring in knoxville?
a huddle
Two boys are playing football in City Park in NE Gainesville when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A reproter from the Gainesvill Sun, who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Gator Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Gator fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in North Central Florida I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again. "Little Seminole Fan Rescuses Friend From Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Seminole fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed everyone in the area was either for the Gators or the Seminoles. What team do you root for?" the reproter asked.
"I'm a UT Vols fan!" the child said.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Nut Kills Beloved Family Pet."
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One day, an FSU player and a Tennessee player were at a bar. The Tennessee player asked the FSU player what FSU meant. The FSU player replied, "Florida Stomped Us." Then he asked the Tennessee player what UT meant. The UT player told him, "Us Too."
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Albert Einstein went to a party and asked people their I.Q.
....he asked this guy and the guy said,"120". Einstein said, "great, we can talk about nuclear fission". then he asked this girl and she said,"110" and he said "great, we can talk about the angle of the worlds axis." and finally he went up to this guy and the guy said,"51" and einstein said,"how bout them vols!"
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A UF and a UT fan were driving in opposite directions one dark stormy night and the had a collision in the middile of the road. Both of them survived and were happy to so. To celebrate the UF FAN said to the UT fan "lets have a drink" and he pulled a bottle of Jack from the trunk of his car. The Gator poured the to a drink and said "lets put our differences behind us" The UT fan drank up and the said "go ahead my friend" and the Gator said "no thanks ill wait until the cops arrive"
"Why so serious?"
haha LOVE it!!!
what do you call a drug ring in knoxville?
a huddle
"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."
-Martin Luther King Jr.
*lol* those are great.
The one with Einstein was a good one.
[img]http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k102/ETWNAPPEL/calgraphic.gif?t=1238543058[/img]
If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car?
The cop.
Why is UF changing their mascot to the possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
How many Gators does it take to change a flat tire?
Just one...unless it's a blowout, then they all show up!
A guy is in a bar with his dog, watching the Tennessee vs. Florida game. The gators surprisingly manage to get a field goal and the dog barks repeatedly. The bartender looks at the dog in awe. After a while the gators score a touchdown and the dog does flips and dances across the bar. Then, the bartender looks at the guy and says, "Man, that's amazing. What does your dog do when Forida beats Tennessee?" The guy replied, "I dunno, I've only had him 3 years."
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"When Giving Your Best Is Not Good Enough"
Why do Canes put those tiny little steering wheels in their cars??
So they can drive with handcuffs on [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
haha imagine that ... a UT fan telling a joke about some football players getting arrested
"Why so serious?"
What does the Tennessee Football Program and a sand castle have in common??
They both look real good, then the TIDE ROLLS IN!!!
How do you get a Tennessee Football Fan to stop beating his wife???
Dress her in Crimson!!!
What do you call 32 Tennesse women in one room?
A full set of teeth!
What has 98 legs & 49 teeth?
A UT Sorority party
How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in Knoxville?
Had it been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a "teethbrush."
What does an UT girl say after sex?
Get off me Daddy, yer crushin' ma cigarettes
Why do UT women like to be on top?
So they don't swallow their tobacco
How do you keep a UT girl from biting her nails?
Make her wear shoes
How do you complement an UT fan?
Nice tooth
What do you call a line of John Deere tractors going down the road?
The UT Homecoming Parade
What is the definition of safe sex down at UT?
Placing a sign on the animals that kick...
Why don't they teach sex ed and driver ed at UT in the same day?
They don't want the mule to get too tired
Hear about the UT guy who lost $50 on the football game?
He lost $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay!
How do you break an UT guy's finger?
Punch him in the nose
What kind of jokes do they tell in Poland?
UT Jokes!!
How do you know you're in a UT bar?
If you call the number on the rest room wall you get the Farm Report
That should be enough to upset the UT fans on here [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
Now for all you Cane fans [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
Miami has adopted a new "Honors System"
Yes your honor, No your honor
How does Miami spend the first week of spring practice?
Studying their Miranda Rights
The Miami football players were all in a remedial english class and the teacher asked "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?"
All the players shouted in unison with Cane pride..."THE APPEAL!"
What are the longest 3 years of a Miami football player's life?
His freshman year
Frank Beamer, Phil Fulmer, and Larry Coker were walking down a country road together when they came upon this pig stuck in the fence by it's head. The pig was wiggling and shaking its butt trying to get free, butt stuck out in the road. Frank looks at the pig's butt and says,
"You know, I wish that was Farrah Fawcett right there."
Phil says, "Oh yeah? I wish it was Cindy Crawford."
Larry says "I wish it was dark."
Now Chokies don't be sad, I didn't forget you [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
How do you get an VT cheerleader in your dorm room?
Grease 'er hips and push like hell
What do you have with 32 VT cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth
A news report came in the other day that the supply shed that contained the text books for VT's football team had burned down. Frank Beamer was obviously distraught and was quoted as saying, "It's a shame, they hadn't even been colored in yet."
Three men were sentenced to death in a foreign country. This country allowed you to pick your method of execution: electric chair, hanging, or being shot with an air gun loaded with the aids virus.
The first one, a Vol, said I'll take the hanging. The second one, a Cane, said I'll take the chair. The third, a Hokie, said I'll take the aids shot.
The other two looked at him as they approached with the air gun, saying, "Why do you want to suffer like that? Don't you want to get it over with?"
The Hokie was giggling as they gave him his shot, he was still giggling as he asked them to shoot him again, and they did.
As the man with the air gun walked away, the tickled Hokie told the two other condemned men, "I'm wearing a condom."
Why can't the Marcus Vick get into a huddle on the field anymore? It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons
What are the first words out of a VT graduates' mouth?
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
Did you that VT Stadium is switching over to artificial turf in 2005?
VT wants to keep their cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.
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